I found out that my aunt's husband has been having an affair. This is the second affair in our extended family. It makes me completely lose faith in the institution of marriage. I don't even want to entertain the thought of marriage if this is what it leads to...extramarital affairs...unhappiness, and messy divorces. Are human beings inclined to be monogamous for most of their lives? If so, then why so much cheating? I feel like being faithful is becoming something of an anomaly nowadays. Maybe being social creatures by habit, humans are not meant to exhibit monogamous tendencies. If man-made institutions were not in place to restrict our behavior, would we see many more explicit polygamous relationships?
I think it's totally possible to be committed to someone and not get married. The foundation of trust and devotion has to be there, and that's hard to achieve between two people. That's what so many marriages lack. People get married for the wrong reasons-- because they think they're in love, because they're impulsive, because they want someone to stay with them.
There's a recent New York Times article about civil unions in France that made me think about what it means to be committed to someone. Maybe civil unions are the way to go. You can reap the economic benefits that come with marriage, but it doesn't box you into a corner in case things don't work out in the long run. And then after a while, if you can picture spending the rest of your life with someone, marriage may be the ultimate step.
Civil Unions in France
i don't vouch for the veracity of this statement but i always remember reading once that couples naturally stay in love for about the duration that it takes to raise a child through early childhood.
ReplyDelete