Don't Waste Time. It's the Most Precious Thing You Have.

I need to stop procrastinating. Yes, even as I have no schoolwork or work-work, I still find ways to put off doing things I should be doing. There are always things I should be doing. Maybe if I list them here every time I visit my blog it can serve as an explicit reminder that I should be doing these things instead of dillydallying around my blog. PUBLIC SHAMING.


Research investment funds and stocks.
Write to Max.
Update LinkedIn profile.
Read some good books.
Plan a trip. Napa? Europe? China?
Blog about topics that matter.
Upload pictures onto Picasa.
Visit my old babysitter.
Download music.
Buy a birthday card.

everyman, I know you'll read this eventually. Sheng ri kuai le!

Some People Can't Be Saved

There's a good friend of mine who's been dealing with a number of personal and career issues. I don't really know what to say or do to help alleviate the situation, because it's a combination of unfavorable internal and external factors that is making everything horrible for said person. I wish I were the owner of a huge profitable company that could employ people, so I could give my friend a job, but I'm not. Said friend's birthday is coming up and I was trying to think of useful presents I could give. Short of cash, could I give a gift card? But some people think--I think this friend would--that shows no effort. A gas card? Practical right? Everyone who drives needs gas. But they lack sentimental value. But what's the point of getting something sentimental when the feeling of happiness exists only for a moment, the moment the gift is received? I don't think any gift I give can make this friend feel better about their birthday. Said person is unhappy with where they are in life right now, period. Not just one issue or aspect. The fact that it's their birthday only serves as a reminder of this. Their general life direction seems desolate to them, and how does a gift, or even an awesome birthday celebration I plan, make it better?

How many of the problems in our lives making us unhappy are uncontrollable, and how much of them are self-created? First of all I don't think it's healthy to compare yourself to anyone else. I have tried to hint at said person to not do this, but it's obvious the message has not been absorbed. Secondly, it's very painful to always think about someone you can't have. I have been there. Sometimes I think I am still there. Of course it's easier said than done to forget about someone you like deeply, but like the physical parallel of core strengthening in yoga, if at your spiritual core you love yourself and can be complete on your own, without someone else you need to be dependent on, then it becomes easier to forget about the impossible. Harping on the impossible is devastating for your well-being. I really want to explicitly tell my friend this, but I'm worried this friend will think I'm being insensitive and unsympathetic. Actually, I think this friend is very strong because they've been through a lot of stuff that's tested their willpower and ability to cope. It's just that this friend is at a moment of weakness. I hope it's temporary, or that at least there's an end in sight. 

All I know now is that I should never become a counselor or therapist. I would really suck at it because I can't give any useful advice or spew out some feel-good BS in tune with what someone's feeling. I would just stare at my patient, dumbfounded.