Some People Can't Be Saved

There's a good friend of mine who's been dealing with a number of personal and career issues. I don't really know what to say or do to help alleviate the situation, because it's a combination of unfavorable internal and external factors that is making everything horrible for said person. I wish I were the owner of a huge profitable company that could employ people, so I could give my friend a job, but I'm not. Said friend's birthday is coming up and I was trying to think of useful presents I could give. Short of cash, could I give a gift card? But some people think--I think this friend would--that shows no effort. A gas card? Practical right? Everyone who drives needs gas. But they lack sentimental value. But what's the point of getting something sentimental when the feeling of happiness exists only for a moment, the moment the gift is received? I don't think any gift I give can make this friend feel better about their birthday. Said person is unhappy with where they are in life right now, period. Not just one issue or aspect. The fact that it's their birthday only serves as a reminder of this. Their general life direction seems desolate to them, and how does a gift, or even an awesome birthday celebration I plan, make it better?

How many of the problems in our lives making us unhappy are uncontrollable, and how much of them are self-created? First of all I don't think it's healthy to compare yourself to anyone else. I have tried to hint at said person to not do this, but it's obvious the message has not been absorbed. Secondly, it's very painful to always think about someone you can't have. I have been there. Sometimes I think I am still there. Of course it's easier said than done to forget about someone you like deeply, but like the physical parallel of core strengthening in yoga, if at your spiritual core you love yourself and can be complete on your own, without someone else you need to be dependent on, then it becomes easier to forget about the impossible. Harping on the impossible is devastating for your well-being. I really want to explicitly tell my friend this, but I'm worried this friend will think I'm being insensitive and unsympathetic. Actually, I think this friend is very strong because they've been through a lot of stuff that's tested their willpower and ability to cope. It's just that this friend is at a moment of weakness. I hope it's temporary, or that at least there's an end in sight. 

All I know now is that I should never become a counselor or therapist. I would really suck at it because I can't give any useful advice or spew out some feel-good BS in tune with what someone's feeling. I would just stare at my patient, dumbfounded.

Time to Recap

Today I got an unexpected Gchat message from a friend I had met while I was in Shanghai. It was pretty neat. Well, not my Chinese. I realize HOW BAD it had gotten since I left. I was typing like a 5 year old. =.= Besides that, our conversation inadvertently made me reminisce about the Expo days. I can't believe it's been over a year since I first started there. Even though it was a brief 3 months, the experience was priceless, largely because I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity again to have an all-expenses paid trip to Shanghai where I could interact on that level with local Chinese, Europeans, Australians, Africans, and good ol' Americans. It's interesting how long after something is over, you tend to remember either the really good (if you liked it) or really bad (if you hated it) parts of it and that becomes the summation of your experience. Now that I look back on it, even the experiences that seemed bad at the time (like that kid who peed on me inside the Singapore Pavilion, or dealing with a co-worker who got so mad he threw a clipboard at me, or OOH, all the pushing and shoving, how can I forget that) aren't a big deal anymore. It was just kid urine, me and clipboard-thrower eventually made up, and whatever, pushing and shoving is a way of life in China. If you don't push and shove you will get nowhere in life there.
But overall, I wouldn't trade Expo in for anything else. Late nights at the office, breakfast at Family Mart, living with an amazing 5 other girls, digging trenches so that a house could be built for a farmer and his family, spending time with cleft lip orphans, eating at the cafeteria with my break buddies (Hank from Cleveland and Phil from Boston. We had some good conversations, most of which I don't remember), and just doing random crap that would probably get us in trouble back at home, those times will be what I remember. Oh, and the pins. The freaking obsession with pins. Well, I don't know if I miss that but I'll definitely remember it. I can never look at a pin the same way again.

I kind of wish I had blogged more about my time at the Expo while it was happening, because I'm sure there are memories that have slipped through the cracks I'll never recall. But it's hard when you're in the middle of it all. At least pictures are worth a thousand words.

I wonder how my Chinese friends are doing. Some of them really were the sweetest people I had ever met. Even though from an outsider's perspective all that seems to be heard and seen nowadays is how China is booming, life is still hard for so many people. Young, hardworking, bright people my age who have similar aspirations I do but probably have to struggle 10 times harder to get to where they want to be...it really puts my own situation into perspective. It makes me think about how I should do less grumbling and just appreciate the fact that I actually have some sort of hope that the roadmap I've drawn out for myself will come into fruition. The friend I was talking to today recently graduated and found a job at a computer software company. When I asked him how he liked it, he didn't complain. Basically his attitude was like, it's so-so. I can deal with it. Then he turned around and told me to jia you.
Man, even though I complain about the habits of Chinese people sometimes, I forgot how awesome the nice people can be. It's probably a cultural trait, but conversations seem to center less around talking about yourself and more about the other person. And I really do think it stems from genuine concern, or at least curiosity. I wonder if I'll ever see them again. I don't know how, but I hope I do someday. It is always amazing to me how some people can be such an integral part of your life, and then one day just not be there anymore. And then as individuals, we deal with it. Sometimes we forget them too. Hm...

Freaking Stevies.

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