Day 9

Why do people deal with traumatic crises in their lives the way that they do? Some people completely break down, become inconsolably depressed, or reject everything and everyone around them. Others are amazingly resilient, building a greater capacity to embrace and to love, and become overall stronger beings.

This question popped up in my mind today in yoga class. My yoga instructor today came back after a hiatus of over a year from teaching. He was away taking care of and loving his wife who recently succumbed to cancer. Honestly, before walking into class today I felt a little nervous and awkward. It's not like I ever really talked with him, but I knew the reason why he was away and I'm really bad at dealing with sad or tragic situations that happen to other people. So my slight anxiety came from not knowing how I should act if we did happen to have a one-on-one moment, and especially not knowing how he might have been changed by this life-altering experience. My fear was unfounded, because he was his usual wholesome, cheery, vibrant self. Not a thing had changed except the fact that he forgot where the light switch was. I had not been to a class that packed, and full of energy and sweat in a while.

I don't really know why I did, but I teared up a little in my first downward dog. Was I imagining how it might feel to lose someone so precious in my life, and knowing I probably couldn't face that situation with half the strength he did? Was I in awe that a person could exhibit such internal and external strength and emerge seemingly stronger, more radiant, more loving, and more loved? I think that's what a person looks like when they have fully internalized yoga. Your core can lift more than your physical being. Your spirit, your being, your essence have all been lifted.

Try New Things, and Try Them Often

Tonight's yoga session was ahhhmazing. I was hesitant to try a different instructor because I like my regular one so much, but today she had me sweating beads onto my mat. I haven't had that in a while. It reminded me to be more open to trying something new.

I keep staring at the bloody toenail I got from hiking. It's so ugly, but I will consider it a well-deserved trophy of a tough hike. I kind of hope it falls off so I can grow a new nail.

The Seemingly Mundane, as my Yoga Instructor Says

Should I start taking multivitamins? It seems like a very 25-year-old thing to do, which I soon will be. I feel like the older I get, the more I appreciate my body and want to take care of it. I think it's an awareness I got from doing yoga. When I try seemingly impossible poses it makes me notice things about my body, because I'm staring at like, my toes. Or the veins in my hands. Or noticing my breathing. I'm really glad I have all that, and I want to hold onto it for as long as I can.

Funny, the things you used to take for granted when you were younger suddenly become much more important when you get older. And some of those things are right in front of you.