First Impressions

I was having a conversation with my roommate tonight and we got to the topic of what she initially thought of me when she met me for the first time. I can't remember her exact wording, but to paraphrase she said..."It's not that I didn't like you, and it's not that you were snooty, but you just came across as being very smart and somewhat arrogant. It was only later on when I got to know you better that I realized it's that you're just smart, and I mistook that as being arrogant..."

Well, something like that.

I wasn't offended by it. I was actually quite flattered, and it was interesting to hear. It's rare you'll ever get such honest feedback from someone, and so it did make me think about how I come off to people. I try to be self-reflective about things such as how the way I say something will be taken by someone else, or if certain actions I do will make someone think about me in a way I don't intend. It's not like I purposefully try to be high and mighty when I first meet someone, but I could see my roommate's point of view that I would give off that vibe. I don't care so much that that might be the first impression I give people, but I'm just wondering how many people I've rubbed the wrong way or turned off because that's what they thought of me. I guess those people's opinions shouldn't matter to me because if I only met them once, then who cares if I come off as cold-shouldered and arrogant? But I guess I always thought I was a hard person to read when someone first met me, because I wouldn't come off as particularly aggressive or timid or anything on one end of two extremes. I thought I was neutral. I thought I just was. Boring, even.

Anyway, I suppose the bottom line is that I would rather give off such a first impression as opposed to anything else. In my mind, arrogance is close to confidence, and so if I can exude anything close to confidence--which in my opinion is pretty hard to do--then I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if people think I'm an ice queen. The people who matter will eventually see through that veneer anyway, and the people who don't...well, they don't matter. Thanks Dr Seuss!