All the Scars and Acne My Face Can Hold

Skin is disastrous. Must make appointment for facial soon.

So Far So Good

=)

I'm so happy right now. Teehee. Welcome 2012!

The world is bigger than your problems. This is my personal theme for this year. I need to write it on a post-it and stick it on my forehead. Must stop daydreaming and get down to business!

City of Angels

Back home. Feels good.

Peeved

The Q Center is eerily quiet right now. There are no other groups training or meeting this week except us, so we have the entire facility to ourselves. I was in the gym all by myself today and Six Feet Under was on. Wow, what a bad show to watch when you're already feeling slightly creeped out that you're alone. I saw a man get severed by an elevator. I don't think it's a show that will grow on me.

Since we're the only group left at the Q Center, some people are complaining that the food quality has declined. Today someone sitting at my table looked disgustingly at their food and said it was so bad. Another person got an entire box of food, didn't feel like eating it, and got a salad instead. I'm honestly getting annoyed that people are saying these things. I admit, the food isn't as fancy and fun as it was the last few weeks, but honestly, I have not been this well fed in a while. There's more than enough variety and in my opinion, it's cooked A LOT better than other dining halls, even restaurants. I am happy as a clam with grilled steak, pork chops with sage and butter, spinach tortellini, garlic mashed potatoes, asparagus, roasted vegetables, saffron rice, French onion soup, minestrone, fresh salad bar, coconut shrimp, beef empanandas, baked chicken breast, ice cream, peach pie, and chocolate mousse bites. I'm totally channeling my parents when I say this, but there are so many people in the world who could never dream of having a meal like this in their lifetime. And the wastefulness. It's really disturbing. If you take a bite out of something and don't like it, you can just leave the whole thing there virtually uneaten. What a privilege that is. I've forgotten how wasteful people are when it comes to food. My family never wastes food. I grew up with that principle really, really ingrained in me. Food is a blessing. Having enough to eat is a blessing, which is why I really can't believe people are complaining. When people complain to me, I don't want to respond or say anything because I feel embarrassed that we are saying these things in front of the chefs and staff. And I don't agree anyway. I think that people are annoyed at me when I stare in a very obvious way at their plate of half-eaten abandoned food, but I don't care. You deserve to be judged if you're a food waster.

Not a Good Year for Dictators

The international relations nerd in me totally reared its head once I found out Kim Jong Il had died. The play by play can be found here. I'm sure all the people in my graduate program are talking about it like normal people talk about football on Sunday. Even before the breaking news, what would happen to the Korean peninsula was a hot topic of discussion. Stock markets in Asia are all in the red. Nikkei, Straits Times, Hang Seng. No one knows what's going to happen. I'm sure the North Korean leadership itself doesn't even know what's going to happen. What's the US going to say? How's China going to react? What's South Korea's next move going to be? You can't really rule out any scenario, though I do think there are some situations that are less likely than others. I think the first thing the South Korea government is going to do is make sure all the defensive bases are covered--protecting against threats like cyber attacks, military attacks, and pretty soon, managing the potential refugee crisis. China is probably worried about the same thing. Actually China's probably super nervous right now. With all the toppling of dictatorships this year, and the monumental leadership transition that's taking place next year, stability is going to be an uphill battle. And then the US. Obama recently expressed his sentiments on forging closer ties to the Asia Pacific region. If he wants to stay true to his word he's suddenly going to have to get way more involved in the discussion process. It's not clear China, South Korea, and Japan are going to be able to reconcile their interests and differences over what to do, and the US has a political stake in ensuring its influence doesn't get edged out either. Oh Obama. Add this to the pile of problems he has to deal with at home. I wonder if he considers Kim's death a Christmas gift or a test from God. Republicans are probably toasting with champagne right now. As for North Korea, it's hard to say what it is going to do next because there's so little known about Kim Jong Un, and also because it's not clear there will be a united front between his supporters and the military. Tactical move to assert authority? Try to continue to remain reclusive or open up to the outside world? How are North Koreans, many of whom can only remember life under Kim and their beloved leader, going to react to a new leader?

And I really wonder how North Korea is going to stay as isolated as it has been--if it's even possible to do so now--with the media frenzy and global leadership trying to decide what their next move will be to respond to this. It's all really interesting. Gaah!

The Q Center

Programming is hard. If I had become a Computer Science major in school I most likely would have flunked out. Every day in class I find myself staring at lines of gibberish with a blank look on my face. For the past week, this has pretty much been the routine each time we get a different activity to code.
1) Open program and stare for a long time. Click around Power Points and sample coding in hopes of finding answer.
2) Twirl hair for a bit and look around to see what everyone else is doing. (They all seem to be busy at work.) Try to google the answer (rarely find it).
3) Ping friend and ask for code. If not available, get up and go find snack. Sometimes coffee too. This part is going to cause me to gain an exponential amount of weight.
4) Play around on phone, check email, look at work stuff. Basically neglect the activity at hand. If I'm feeling brave that day, try to input some code. If not, use Office Communicator and Gchat until instructor looks over my shoulder.
5) Ask instructor tons of stupid questions. They start doing some of the coding and answering said stupid questions.
6) Instructor shows class the solution. I feel a little better for understanding some of it, but immediately feel like an idiot again when we move on to the next activity.

Other than that Chicago's been fun. I'm adapting to the cold weather better than I thought I would (this is probably also due to the fact that I haven't been outdoors in days). The atmosphere is friendly and cordial, but I think everyone also is anxious about getting adjusted into their roles and finding their first project. I know I am. I want to go out and have fun, but in the back of my mind I know right now is not supposed to be playtime. I need to take advantage of this time before work really starts to get acquainted with the organization and its internal workings.

I'm a little sad I didn't bring my camera USB cord to upload the pictures I've been taking. They would have been nice to post, but I guess I'll just do that when I get back. After 3.5 weeks here, I'm sure I'll be pretty happy to go back to LA. I miss my family, including my dog. I was just looking at pictures of her and my brother told me she got fatter. I believe it. Our family is very bad at keeping pets healthy. Nina gained so much weight when she was with us, thanks to my dad's incessant feeding. Oy.

Brandon: k i know

  can u guess how many friends iu have on facebook?

10:59 PM me: you or me

 Brandon: whoops

  me

 me: 14

11:00 PM i see it on your profile

 Brandon: yea

  thats a lot right

 me: yah

  guess how many i have

 Brandon: 830 i saw on your profile

  oh wait

11:01 PM are you mocking me?

I also miss friends back at home. Sometimes I'll see something cool here and wish they were here so we could laugh/talk/make fun of it together. Soon enough!

System.out.println("2 weeks to go");

Lady Gaga - Marry The Night (Official Video)

I always make the mistake of thinking her videos can't get any crazier. This one doesn't even start until like 11 minutes in.