Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Hope for the Best. Expect the Worst.

Learning to let go is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you know you've done everything in your power to try to make things go the way you want them to. I think people have such a hard time letting go because everything after that becomes uncertain. Will it turn out ok? Or badly? When it comes to this part, I think of something a good friend said to me once: ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen? To me, the worst thing that can happen in any situation is that I will die. Hahaha. Ok, I know that is a low bar to set, but it does put into context whatever "problem" I am preoccupied with at the moment. Should I be worried to this extent, wasting this much time and energy thinking about it? If the answer is no, it means I need to rationally devise a course of action to either let go or prepare to do so.

And then what happens after that? I then think of a quote my yoga instructor told us recently.
[Paraphrasing] Hope is not praying that everything will turn out ok (which is religion <==this is my own two cents =X), but having the certainty to know that it will all make sense.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Stomach Knotty

Sigh. Maybe tomorrow?

There was a bright spot in my day when I got to see a friend I hadn't seen in 5 years. And also when he reassured me that I will be fine. I hope so.

HopeHopeHopeHopeHope

Yoshihiko Noda

Japan has changed Prime Ministers more often these past six years than a beauty pageant contestant changes her outfits during a competition. After Koizumi there hasn't been an individual who's lasted more than a year. Abe, Fukuda, Aso, Hatoyama, Kan, and now very recently elected Yoshihiko Noda. Every time I hear about a new PM being elected I hope that they'll last longer than a year. I imagine it must be difficult getting things done when leadership changes so often. Maybe Noda will last longer, since he seems to take a pretty strong stance on fiscal issues. And I guess since the economy's been basically stagnant for almost two decades...this may be a good thing?? I don't know much about Japanese politics, but it seems like a country that has sort of lost its spirit. Not spirit in the sense of the people's, of course--the tragic tsunami if anything undeniably proved that Japanese people's resiliency and compassion are as strong as they can be--but more like a lacking invigoration from the leadership. A few years ago when I was doing research on China-Japan relations I remember reading a report about how low patriotism was among Japanese youth. And how does Japan form a strong national identity when it has come to depend on the US militarily for its security, and when the rest of the world (especially China) watches it with a wary eye tinted by the legacy of World War II? I think what the perpetual rapid-fire succession of PM after PM indicates is that the Japanese people want a leader who will take a stance, even if it's an unpopular one. To have clear direction, stand up to the rest of the world, and be somewhat of a hardliner. That's what Koizumi was, and there hasn't really been someone like him since then. Or maybe I am wrong because I'm kind of sleepy and changing Prime Ministers every year is something that's ok.

Crossing my fingers for good news this week.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

The stars are saying hello tonight and they are oh so gorgeous. I wish I had a mega telescope-camera so I could take a picture.

Look at all those dead guys up there Simba!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Reason 9038490859085 My Dad is Awesome

he11o g00dbye14
today we were watching wheel of fortune, and the guy won a mini cooper. dad was like, that would be a nice car for brenda to win. it's small and convenient
11:52
Brenda Au
lolol

Ai Ya

AW darn ittttttt. I should have suspected something when pimples sprouted all over my forehead and I kept staring longingly at the dark chocolate bar at Trader Joe's. Why is the timing always so bad?!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Just A Dream

I just had a very scary dream about a person I love very much dying. This is what I woke up to Wednesday morning. At least I woke up to find out it was just a dream. Thank goodness.

A lot of internal conflict lately. I need to just clear my head and be in balance.