Weirdest Encounter Ever

I went to People's Square yesterday in search of some wearable autumn clothes. The weather has taken a turn for the better. I never thought I would say this about rainy and gloomy weather since I am usually a sun-loving girl but it is definitely a better alternative than death by humidity. Anyway, I ran into the strangest pervert outside of Raffles City and I don't know why I talked to him for so long. I guess I found it entertaining. I was walking outside when a guy handed me a magazine in shrink wrap. I took it at first thinking it was free but my next reaction was that something probably had to come out of it so I immediately handed it back to him. It's free! he said. I looked skeptically at him and slowly took it back. He quickly finished.

You just have to register your name and then it's yours.

Before I could refuse his friend appeared and whisked me off. Where are we going? I kept asking him as we walked into an alley. Luckily I recognized where I was and there were people around so I wasn't worried about anything happening. I couldn't understand what he was saying but he asked me questions like where are you from? Are Americans really as open as Hollywood makes them out to be (after he found out where I was from)? How old are you? Then he told me I should get married in Shanghai and return to my roots. Do you want me to introduce you to someone? He has a really good job in the Shanghai government and he's an eligible bachelor! We finally ended up at this dimly lit facial spa on the second floor of a mall. Once I walked in I knew it was shady business so I immediately turned around and said BYE.

He proceeded to follow me out the door and said wait! I'll show you where the exit is. I told him since he had lied to me once there was no way I was listening to him again, but he did indeed lead me outside to where we came in. I thought that was the end of things but then he put his arm around my waist and asked me the weirdest thing I have ever been asked in my life.

Can we pretend to be a couple?

NO! What the hell?

Come on, it'll be fun.

Are you that desperate to have a girlfriend that you need to play pretend games?

You've never been with a Chinese guy right? You should try one out so you can compare.

By this point I was thoroughly entertained (and mildly creeped out) so I decided to see where it would go. Sometime before this exchange he also said I was pretty but had bad skin and he could show me where to go to fix it.

So we eventually made our way to Nanjing Dong Lu where along the way he kept trying to hold my arm and put his hand on my waist. I combated his attempts by moving and pushing his arm away. When we found a place to sit down we chatted a little. Highlights include him asking me if I ever had a one-night stand, and if I would like to have one with him, me asking him if he was gay because he talked quite effeminately, to which he responded no and showed me his normal talking voice (which did indeed sound like a straight guy), him describing his job as a bartender and being in movies with Nicholas Tse, sleeping with Carina Lau, and criticizing different parts of my body then immediately proceeding to tell me he could recommend me to a place that could resolve my "issues": gym for my stomach fat, salon for my dry hair, exercising my chest to acquire some cleavage, and so on. At the end he asked if we could kiss and I said no. He kept persisting and finally I got up to leave. He then settled with a hug but tried to cop a feel when we pulled back.
Through all this I should have been severely offended. I did find parts of it unbelievable. But generally I found it all very amusing. It was probably because I kept thinking he was gay even after he asserted he was not. That was just the vibe he gave me. It was a very long and useless solicitation on his behalf. He would have been cute if he wasn't such a 大色狼.

Wowza. Roughly T-1 month until the Expo ends. Where did the time go? I really am not ready to go back to life in the States...