Me and Marriage

Why am I so anti-marriage? I had a dream today that my dad and mom were getting a divorce. And even though I felt sad, I was also relieved. It makes me a horrible person for admitting this, but it finally meant I would not have to hear their arguing, yelling, and see how they torture each other to no end. The older they get the less they can stand each other, but the older they get the more they come to realize they only have in other in their retirement years. Tragic irony?

Through my mom's experience, which has essentially been her entire life post-marriage, I have come to be very, very scared of spending most of my life with one person. It's such a huge gamble. What if that person turns out to have so many flaws I can't live with? What if I end up hating him? Every time my mom talks about my dad, she starts crying. He has failed as a husband, she's said. Wow. Then I wonder if I want to be subject to that for the rest of my life. Would I rather be alone and unhappy, or with someone and unhappy?