It Stirs the Emotions and Floods the Mind

Everyone's had that experience where smelling something or hearing a song immediately takes them back to a given moment in their lives. Tonight I was ironing and I caught a whiff of the scent that's given off when you put iron to cloth. That smell...took me back to my apartment in Shanghai in 2010. I was reminded of our cheap China-made iron that broke after a few uses. And then my thoughts just began rolling and drowning in Lanzhou noodles, bus trips to the mall, rainy summers, bag and badge checks every time I entered my apartment grounds, watermelon that broke cleanly in half with a slight knife cut, and bad coffee in nice coffeeshops.

It's the same way when I hear a song. Amazing how a melody and some lyrics can set you off. Repeat by David Guetta and Jessie J. Played it on repeat when I was trying to get over someone. Dancing All Night Long by Michelle Martinez. Summer clubbing nights. Any Johannes Linstead song reminds me of summer evening walks in my neighborhood. And then I can remember the jasmine aroma that wafted from the trees into the air and reached my nose. Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine. Twirling my little Nina around with her paws while she stared at me with a bewildered expression. Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap. Commutes to and from USC while living at home. I'm swimming in a sea of nostalgia right now that only holds meaning to me...

First Impressions

I was having a conversation with my roommate tonight and we got to the topic of what she initially thought of me when she met me for the first time. I can't remember her exact wording, but to paraphrase she said..."It's not that I didn't like you, and it's not that you were snooty, but you just came across as being very smart and somewhat arrogant. It was only later on when I got to know you better that I realized it's that you're just smart, and I mistook that as being arrogant..."

Well, something like that.

I wasn't offended by it. I was actually quite flattered, and it was interesting to hear. It's rare you'll ever get such honest feedback from someone, and so it did make me think about how I come off to people. I try to be self-reflective about things such as how the way I say something will be taken by someone else, or if certain actions I do will make someone think about me in a way I don't intend. It's not like I purposefully try to be high and mighty when I first meet someone, but I could see my roommate's point of view that I would give off that vibe. I don't care so much that that might be the first impression I give people, but I'm just wondering how many people I've rubbed the wrong way or turned off because that's what they thought of me. I guess those people's opinions shouldn't matter to me because if I only met them once, then who cares if I come off as cold-shouldered and arrogant? But I guess I always thought I was a hard person to read when someone first met me, because I wouldn't come off as particularly aggressive or timid or anything on one end of two extremes. I thought I was neutral. I thought I just was. Boring, even.

Anyway, I suppose the bottom line is that I would rather give off such a first impression as opposed to anything else. In my mind, arrogance is close to confidence, and so if I can exude anything close to confidence--which in my opinion is pretty hard to do--then I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if people think I'm an ice queen. The people who matter will eventually see through that veneer anyway, and the people who don't...well, they don't matter. Thanks Dr Seuss!

Really?

If you always see relationships as only possessing utilitarian value and nothing more, I don't think you can ever have a meaningful relationship with anyone.

I might not always be what you want me to be, but my friendship is unconditional as long as you want it.

Cloud 9

I'm going to be on a natural high for the next week.

Almost Full Bloom

=)

Ta da! Beautiful white. They're gorgeous.

In Bloom

I wonder what color they'll be. Can't wait to find out! Hm, wonder how the ones at home are doing...eek.

New New Year's Resolution

I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.
I will not touch, scratch, or pick at my face so that my skin can have a chance to heal.