There's Suddenly This Lump in my Throat.

452 really doesn't sound so much when I think about seeing you.

Notice the Tagline?

Robots Are Singing

I just listened to Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper completely in autotune. Is nothing in music sacred anymore? And this is coming from someone who enjoys her fair share of EDM and bubblegum pop.

Updates...in List Format

1. Things Going on With my Body
I have been so tired this week for no apparent reason. It's times like these I wonder if there's something deeper going on with my body that I don't know about. I have a friend who kept taking long naps and always felt fatigued but she didn't know why, so one day she went to the doctor for a checkup and that's when she found out she had a Vitamin D deficiency. Hm. She wouldn't have known that if she hadn't gone to the doctor. So I wonder if I should do the same. Maybe I'll find a reason for why some weeks I'll be full of energy and other weeks I'll do things like fall asleep at my desk or take naps in my car simply because my eyes are too heavy to keep open. Going to the doctor is one of those things I know I should do, but don't get around to doing because it's not urgent. Like going to the dentist for a cavity fill. Or buying a dress because it's on sale and the sale ends tomorrow.

I tried an on-ramp (introductory) 4-day Crossfit course to see if "constant variation, functional movement, high intensity" exercises were for me. After 4 days, I would say...yes and no. I think the course taught me a lot of practical movements I can and should incorporate into my workout routine, but I can't see myself making Crossfit my primary exercise program. It doesn't give me the same high as a kickass yoga class gives me. To me, being able to lift 66% my weight is not as important as realizing my body is progressively moving toward being able to do a headstand because I've become stronger in and out. I think for me...Crossfit is missing that self-awareness, spiritual, self-loving element that makes me so addicted to yoga. I will say it is pretty fun watching a class of 20 people move around doing crazy sets to blood-pumping music though. Working out to Kaskade never looked so fun.

2. Things Going on With my Mind
I started subscribing to Motley Fool podcasts because I've been trying to learn more about smart investing. The other day I bought some stock for a health industry company and have since been following it closely. As a novice investor, I care very much about my 14 shares. It's especially exciting because it's been performing very well these past few days. Of course I still have so much to learn about investing, but I find it interesting and enjoy doing the research on my own. It gives me an opportunity to do more creative things with my money, as well as learn about what's happening to the economy on a macro level.

I'm dead set on my next blog entry being about a topic other than myself and my mundane life. I've noticed most of my recent entries are all about me, which in my case, is a sign of laziness. I only really make short blog entries about myself when I'm too tired to think about the larger, more interesting issues I have an opinion about. There's this list I've put on a Mac sticky note with topics I've wanted to get to, but haven't had a chance to really sit down and focus on it. At quick glance, they are:

• Prop 8
• Saving the world (?)
• Brazil vs. China
• Old people
• Why do people review chain stores on Yelp?
• Credit unions in Turkey as a response to the global financial crisis

Ok, this list is kind of old. It's like those places I bookmark on Yelp to review but never get around to...and then I forget what I wanted to say about the topic.

I made a new blog. LOLS. I know, ironic considering my previous point. It's like, I can barely maintain this blog, and I'm starting a new one?? But check it out, hopefully this one doesn't require the same level of maintenance. I don't anticipate that being the case. => http://onceadaykeepsthedoctoraway.blogspot.com/

It's St. Patrick's Day! I thought I would give an obligatory acknowledgement to one of the biggest holidays Americans unabashedly use as an excuse to get their draaaaaank on. Everyone who has Irish roots suddenly becomes a lot prouder of their heritage this time of year...

It Stirs the Emotions and Floods the Mind

Everyone's had that experience where smelling something or hearing a song immediately takes them back to a given moment in their lives. Tonight I was ironing and I caught a whiff of the scent that's given off when you put iron to cloth. That smell...took me back to my apartment in Shanghai in 2010. I was reminded of our cheap China-made iron that broke after a few uses. And then my thoughts just began rolling and drowning in Lanzhou noodles, bus trips to the mall, rainy summers, bag and badge checks every time I entered my apartment grounds, watermelon that broke cleanly in half with a slight knife cut, and bad coffee in nice coffeeshops.

It's the same way when I hear a song. Amazing how a melody and some lyrics can set you off. Repeat by David Guetta and Jessie J. Played it on repeat when I was trying to get over someone. Dancing All Night Long by Michelle Martinez. Summer clubbing nights. Any Johannes Linstead song reminds me of summer evening walks in my neighborhood. And then I can remember the jasmine aroma that wafted from the trees into the air and reached my nose. Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine. Twirling my little Nina around with her paws while she stared at me with a bewildered expression. Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap. Commutes to and from USC while living at home. I'm swimming in a sea of nostalgia right now that only holds meaning to me...

First Impressions

I was having a conversation with my roommate tonight and we got to the topic of what she initially thought of me when she met me for the first time. I can't remember her exact wording, but to paraphrase she said..."It's not that I didn't like you, and it's not that you were snooty, but you just came across as being very smart and somewhat arrogant. It was only later on when I got to know you better that I realized it's that you're just smart, and I mistook that as being arrogant..."

Well, something like that.

I wasn't offended by it. I was actually quite flattered, and it was interesting to hear. It's rare you'll ever get such honest feedback from someone, and so it did make me think about how I come off to people. I try to be self-reflective about things such as how the way I say something will be taken by someone else, or if certain actions I do will make someone think about me in a way I don't intend. It's not like I purposefully try to be high and mighty when I first meet someone, but I could see my roommate's point of view that I would give off that vibe. I don't care so much that that might be the first impression I give people, but I'm just wondering how many people I've rubbed the wrong way or turned off because that's what they thought of me. I guess those people's opinions shouldn't matter to me because if I only met them once, then who cares if I come off as cold-shouldered and arrogant? But I guess I always thought I was a hard person to read when someone first met me, because I wouldn't come off as particularly aggressive or timid or anything on one end of two extremes. I thought I was neutral. I thought I just was. Boring, even.

Anyway, I suppose the bottom line is that I would rather give off such a first impression as opposed to anything else. In my mind, arrogance is close to confidence, and so if I can exude anything close to confidence--which in my opinion is pretty hard to do--then I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if people think I'm an ice queen. The people who matter will eventually see through that veneer anyway, and the people who don't...well, they don't matter. Thanks Dr Seuss!

Really?

If you always see relationships as only possessing utilitarian value and nothing more, I don't think you can ever have a meaningful relationship with anyone.

I might not always be what you want me to be, but my friendship is unconditional as long as you want it.