I got a phone call from a firm I interviewed for today. HR told me their client needs had changed and so hiring had stopped. The flooding of disappointment somewhat obscured what he was telling me next, but I caught the fact that I interviewed very well and I would be kept on file if other openings became available. An insider told me they're beginning to hire for their Palo Alto and San Francisco offices, so these two factors combined give me hope. Right after this I checked my email and HR from another firm asked me when I would be available to talk today. I wanted to shout in the email, CALL ME ANYTIME! EVEN AT MIDNIGHT! Obviously that wasn't a reasonable answer. I wish I could know now. It's killing me. Just put me out of my misery please.
I haven't really thought about what I would do if I didn't get an offer from this place. I haven't landed an interview elsewhere. This firm really is sort of my last glimmer of self-created hope. I just sat at Starbucks for a while, trying to decide how I felt. It was like a mixture of panic, frustration, hope, and finally, I was just like, fuck it. So then I baked some chocolate cupcakes.
Therapy through baking.
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