Best Blogger Ever

Ramen and yoga are the two best things to eat and think about when I'm drunk.

Every time I go to a club, I have to go to the bathroom. And every time I go to the bathroom, there is always a lady (either Hispanic or Black) who hands me paper towels after I clean my hands.
No matter how shitfaced I am, I always wonder, who is this lady giving me paper? Why is she here, sitting in a club bathroom on a Friday/Saturday night, dealing with drunk girls who are acting stupid, shouting at each other whether or not they should make out with that guy who danced with them (it's always fun to go to a girls' bathroom at a club and overhear all the conversations going on; 99% of them involve guys), who cannot handle their alcohol and who see this lady as nothing but a robotic paper dispenser? What's her story? Tonight the lady in the bathroom was reading a collection of American literature short stories, turned to a page written by Richard Wright, about the slavery period. She laughed in a somewhat embarrassed manner when I looked over her shoulder and asked her what she was reading. I read a few lines and it occurred to me that this lady might have been one of the smartest people in the club. If I ever return to academia one day, I am going to apply for funding so I can work on an anthropology project interviewing the experiences of ladies working in the bathroom at clubs and document their stories. They really need to be told. I'm sure they have some good anecdotes to share.

I am the ultimate blogger, so dedicated. Who else would do this under double shot of patron+ and at 3 in the morning?