Conflict

Have you ever been to an animal shelter? If you have any place in your heart for dogs (and even cats), it's a jarring experience. The smell, the pairs of eyes behind wired pens--pleading, imploring, hostile, hurt, desperate, confused--the whines, the barks. I almost wish they would be euthanized soon so they don't have to go through crests and troughs of hope when a human walks by, thinking this might be the one to save them, that they might be adopted and be able to leave this hellhole, only to be disappointed because they are deemed too big, too furry, too ugly, too old, too whatever else that makes them unattractive, to be adopted.

I hate that place. I only went there a few times with my mom in the hopes that we might be able to rescue one. Nina might not have died so much in vain if the reason was to save another canine's life.

Ugh. Now I'm disgusted with what I'm doing. I'm looking through listings of purebred miniature pinschers because my dad can't find a pet at the shelter that satisfies all his requirements. I don't understand his fixation on finding a doppelganger Nina. Does he really like min pins? Or he really liked Nina and misses her so much he's pinning his fondness for her on one who can replace her and fill the missing pet gap? There are so many poor strays at the shelter who are going to be euthanized in days' time and we're looking for purebred min pins online that cost hundreds of dollars.

Sigh.